and before you read on and get disappointed, i'm not going to go into detail as to what it was.
but i know it was important. it felt important. it felt good. it was the best dream i'd ever had, and when i woke up the first thing i thought (besides "dang it. real life again.") was "i finally know more than anything, what it is i truly want." i wanted it to be real that bad.
and now i wish i'd never had it, because this dream will never come true. not that it can't it just won't. i know deep down it won't, the same deep down that wants it to come true.
i wish i knew what dreams meant. i wish i knew why we have them. i wonder how much God controls our dreams? i honestly don't know. it would seem divine torture if He gave me a dream that wouldn't come true. i don't think God deals in the "look what might have beens"
so. it was the best dream i'd ever had. and i wish i'd never had it.
I relate. And when it happened to me I wondered the VERY same thing you did: How much/does God control our dreams? And if so, WHY do we have these crazy awesome ones, and then crazy horrible ones?!
ReplyDeleteAnd to top it all off...I woke up, IN my dream, and it was still real, so I was like, "It wasn't a dream after all!" And then I woke up again, and it was still real (IN my dream). Then I woke up FOR REAL...and it was over. UGH. Flusterating.
All this to say, I feel your pain...for real.
I definitely can understand that one.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard on the heart and makes it even more difficult in giving up said dream, because it's not just a want, but it's a picture.
I don't know if that made any sense out loud, but it made sense in my head. ;)
Don't be so pessimistic, your dream CAN come true.
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